"J'entends ici ce moment de lucidité qu'aucune méthode ne peut faire apparaître"

Je me souviens d'une fête d'anniversaire. Un goûter, probablement, ce n'était pas encore le temps des gages ou vérité ni des slow sur les chansons du moment. Non, c'était le temps des chasses au trésor, des ballons au fenêtre et des gâteaux maison. Je devais fêter mes 9 ans, et il s'est mis à neiger, pour la première fois de l'année. Je suis sortie dehors avec ma clique d'amis, et on à pataugé comme des petits fous dans la neige. Et pour de la niege, s'en était : pas celle qui ne tient que sur les toits des maisons et se transforme en boue sur la route en une dizaine de minutes, non, de la vraie neige qui tient, comme on en voie pas si souvent à Bruxelles. Peut-être que ma mémoire me fait défaut, et peut-être qu'une partie de mon souvenir est pure fiction, mais je me souviens de la neige, et je me souviens d'y avoir joué pendant des heures. Il avait neigé pour mon anniversaire, et c'était la première fois que je voyais la ville en habits blancs.

La raison pour laquelle je m'attarde sur cette anecdote, c'est parce qu'aujourdhui, aux premières lueurs de mes 19 ans, il neige, pour la première fois de l'année. Moi qui hier, justement, rappelais à ma mère les hivers précédent si froid, et les 27 jours enneigé de decembre dernier (contre deux cette année). Moi qui lui racontais à ma cousine ce que je viens de vous dire, la neige, les jeux, l'anniversaire. Il a neigé pour mon anniversaire cette année ; ça m'a fait sourire, et j'y ai vu un signe.

Alors certes, cette neige est définitvement éphémère, et les voitures déjà ont transformé la fine pellicule en substance suspecte marron, mais quand je me suis levée et que j'ai vu les flocons tomber, j'ai été émerveillée. Je me suis revue courir dans la rue, me précipiter pour modeler un bonhomme de neige, batailler avec des amis dont je ne me souviens que des noms. Quelques bougies de plus, quelques centimètres de neige de moins, mais le même moment d'extase. Petite fille du Sud qui découvre les joies du Nord. 

J'ai 9 ans à nouveau, non j'en ai 3 et je vois la neige pour la première fois. Je suis loins de tous ces faux-soucis qui me remplissent l'esprit. J'ai le temps de grandir, j'ai plein de futurs possibles, une infinité de vies qui m'attendent. Vous savez ce qu'ils disent, 19 ans, c'est n'est que le début.

Et un joyeux non-anniversaire à vous,

Madeleine

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Des traductions. j'ai plein d'idées en tête pour plein de trucs mais j'ai besoin de mon support caméra. Je babysitte comme une folle alors je devrais atteindre mon but bien vite. Soyez patient. Ah, aussi, citation de Magritte, le petit sous-titre entre guillemets.

Les photos sont datées de février 2003, mais vraiment, je ne sais pas si on les a faites développer rapidement. Location : Les étangs d'Ixelles, 1050 Bruxelles

a goodwillfull list of New Year's resolutions

Without any introduction, the list :

1. Learn how o speak Korean
2. Lear how to type quickly on a keybord
3. Finish my first year of medecine studies with not-so-bad/good grades
4. Write more reviews
5. Watch all of the Woody Allen's movies
6. The same with Pedro Almodovar
7. And Gus Van Sant
8. And Lars von Tier
9. And Tim Burton
10. Read all of the Jane Austen's Books
11. Finish "A song of ice and Fire" (well, all the books in store)
12. Read more (to be less specific)
13. Buy a camera
14. Use it
15. Figure out what I want to do next year
16. And maybe try to see even further ?
17. Start a blog
18. Make my English better (especially the accent)

Now, some explanations :

I suck at learning languages : it never is a problem to learn how to read it, it's a bit more complicated to write without too many mistakes, and it's very difficult for me to speak with a good accent. So with 18, I want to try to improve my English - it's one of the reason I am currently not writing in French. 1 is just a stupid challenge I gave myself a while ago : but you know, I'm quite excited with the idea of learning Korean (and of watching kdrama without subtitles, yay!).

The keybord (2) thing atcually is because I'm loosing too much time right now, by not optimizing my typing. And I want to type more this year, because I want to tell stories to perfect strangers : here comes 17 (that I will cross out right now), but also 4, the reviews thing. If you want to write reviews, you have to actually watch/read/listen to things : see 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12. I really hope I'll be able to tell you great stories about my adventures with that.

Now, the camera thing (13). I really hesitated between Medecine studies or Cinema studies ; I chose Medecine because it seemed more feasible, and more real. I'm starting to think it may not have been the best choice, because I really do not see myself being a doctor one day. But the studies are quite interesting (I think I have a pathological need to learn), and I will pursue them untill I have a better idea of how I want my life to look like. I hate giving up things, so I know that the day I'll decide to quit Medecine will be a hard day ; but it will be easier if I have good grades, and if I'm quiting for myself and not because I'm not capable of going on with the studies (Look, there's 3 !). Using the camera (14), talk to you about it on my blog should help me realize what is the path for me : this all blog thing is in fact my own way to try to figure out my future (15&16).

Did I made any sense ?

Well, I'll keep you posted about how I get ahead with all those promises 

Thank for reading,

Madeleine.

"Also... I could kill you with my brain."

I don't have magical abilities, nor funny mutations, nor super powers. But I do have a brain and I try to use it for the greater good.

You see, my not-super-but-still-quite-useful brain is enough for me, and I spend a lot of time storing it with trivial matters. Of course, I do not find those matters trivial at all, but most people do. Here, I will share my knowledge with you. If you're like me, amateur of the useless, you should be happy. If you are not, stay anyway, I'm sure you will learn.

"Some would be afraid. Some would run away. And some would go mad"

• The Box of Thoughts : pretty much everything that comes to my mind but can't be put in any other of the categories.
• The Box of Truths : truths about me, mostly. Well, the self-centered notes, kind of.

or The True Purpose

Most of the time when I quote korean dramas, it’s because the times are dark, my friends. Very dark.

So I want to begin by an apology. I will try not to write posts tryong to be philosophical qhen really, there not. I guess I was trying to explain myself - you know, why did I began a blog, and what for ? - but it's no use. I'm doing this for me, because I want to be an happier person and i genualy think this is going to help me. So sorry if it was crappy. I will propably do it again though -  publish crappy things I mean - I think a lot, but I'm also quite impulsive and I just can't help myself. I will take responsabilities for whatever stupidities I may publish one day ; and this lucky day, you will be able to hear me apologize, again. And maybe quote kdrama.

Well, a ankward explanation about the my precious mistakes (and mistakes-to-be) ? Done.

But so extraordinary that it may seem to you, this apology digression wasn’t the point of my post. I know, astonishing isn’t it ? What i really want to talk to you about today is The True Purpose. The true purpose of my blog, of course, if you want to know the purpose of life, I afraid I can’t help you. Well, not today.

The True Purpose : let’s get into it

Why did I decide to begin a blog ? That is a very good question, and I would love to tell you about it ; how the idea slowly grew in my mind ; how it became so voluminous I had to do something about it ; how I tried ; how I failed ; why I decided to express myself in english, this wonderful language but still not mine ; why ? how ? Lot’s of extremely interesting explanations are waiting right here, but I’m aware that I can’t expect to be read if I’m just talking about me. So I will go onto them, but not right now, not today (Yay !). No, today, I’ll be focusing of the what. What am I going to feed you with ?

My idea is quite simple. I am a books, movies and tv shows lover (but who isn’t), and maybe a bit too much of a geeky person (I personnaly think that there’s no such thing as a “too much geeky person” but you know, some might think) and I want to share my opinions with you. But I don’t want to write reviews anly : what I would like is to create “events”, meaning gathering people sharing a commun interest and make everyone participate. It’s still a bit blurry in my head, so I guess I don’t make much sense right know, so let me give you some examples :

• I’d like to watch all adaptations I could possibly find of Jane Austen works, and I will invite you (in due course) to do the same. I will write reviews about it, provide myself with information and study all of it. Because I’m such a open person, I won’t restrict myself with “official adaptation” (read : the ones you can find of wikipedia) and I will be happy to watch/ read anything linked to the word of Jane Austen. Even if the link is really, really, really thin.
• In a bigger picture, there’s a lot of directors who are very dear to me, and a lot of their movies which I do not have seen, yet. That is something I’d like to work on, by organizing “retrospectives”. I will probably begin with Woody Allen, because it’s so much simple to begin with someone whose work is not too numerous.
• If I can gather some people, I’d like to organize events such as “One episode a day” with TV shows. But I will get into that later.
• If I ever buy myself a camera, I will probably do some Youtube post from time to time. Nothing too fancy, it would be to illustrate my posts. We’ll see.

This is the first examples I could think of, but my head is full of other things I swear. I often seek otally useless informations on Wikipedia, and I have a brain full of useless things that I will be more than happy to share with you. It’s facts that I believe very funny and very interesting, but you know, I still not sure I am a completely sane human being. But who is, right ?

Hoping I will manage to arouse you curiosity,

Madeleine

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To come : my New Year’s Resolution, translations in French and more about my tastes. So you can, you know, decide if I’m worth listening to (I will do that very soon, I promise).